When Weasely's Wizard Wheezes Went Wrong
by MyFantasyDreams
Summary: A diray kept by Verity, the Weazley twins assistant, of all the mishaps and acidents which occur during the Produce test runs for their shop :D


Disclaimer -:- sad though it is to say none of this belongs to me ... all the work of JKR ... i just mess with them :D

**When Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Went Wrong!!****Chapter 1 - An introduction!**Thursday 15th May

A tall, pretty, young woman with long blonde hair stood alone in a brightly coloured shop in Diagon alley. She locked the shop from the inside and walked over to a large, white board in a corner behind the counter. A sign above the board flashed 'Staff Notice Board'. The woman fished a long slender wand out of her jeans and quickly scribbled a message in bright pink letters on the board before vanishing through a small door that lead to the flat above the shop that she shared with her employers. The message read 'Gone to write a diary, cook dinner etc—Verity xx'

Moments later, up in the flat Verity had a large cauldron of stew cooking; she had always used a cauldron for cooking, ever since she had been a kid. Sighing happily she left the kitchen and quickly fetched a medium sized leather bound book from her bed room. She had been waiting for this moment of peace and quite for weeks and as she sat down on a large chair in the sitting room, she reached for a quill and opened the book on its first blank page.

~*~*~*~*~  
_**Hi I'm Verity Tonks. You may have heard of my cousin Nymphadora Tonks, she seems to be quite famous these days. Apparently some uber clever muggle wrote a load of books about some Hogwarts kids and Nymph was mentioned a few times. I probably should call her Tonks … she hates me calling her Nymph. She does so hate anything that links her to her family, her blood family that is. You should have seen her face the day she got the owl saying that her family never wanted to see or hear from her again. She was ecstatic, grinning and laughing like a Kookaburra. I dunno. Tonks is such a laugh, I remember her the day she metamorphed her hair and eyes acid green! Some one, Sirius Black, some far off relative of her mother's, another outcast of that family and the hottest boy in my year, I believe, told her she should be in Slytherin and being the sensitive soul she is, she took it the wrong way, got all upset over it, and couldn't change her hair or eyes back for days!! Hilarious, I promise.  
**_

Verity laughed out loud at the memory and quickly read through what she had written so far, smiling at her disability to get straight to a point. Deciding she had rambled on about her family for long enough she put her quill back on the paper and started to write another sentence. She didn't notice when two amazingly tall, well-built yet lanky red haired young men appeared in the room and wandered over to her, their curiosity, as always, getting the better of them.

~*~*~*~  
_**So anyways you are probably wondering why I have been writing this…  
**_

Verity Jumped half a mile into the air when a large pale hand shot into her lap and snatched the book for under her nose. "Frederic. Theodor. Weasley. Don't you ever sneak up on me like that again. She screamed, from her undignified position on the floor, at one of the twins, he doubled up laughing.

"Aww calm down Vert, you love us really" chirped Fred as he and his twin, George, stretched out on opposite ends of a huge sofa. Verity grinned momentarily, only the twins had ever called her Vert and she kind of liked it.

Verity mock glowered at the two men, her employers, before dashing off to rescue the dinner, which was burning rapidly, leaving the book in the hands of the two men.

After a heavy meal Fred and George retired to their separate rooms, Verity returned to the sitting room to find her book sitting open on the sofa, the page of writing looked a fair bit longer that it had when she had finished writing. She sat down and started reading through it smiling at the twins many additions to her original writing.

~*~*~*~  
_Vert, Why ARE you writing this, from Fred, Greatest and most talented prankster know to wizards xx_

**Fred, Shut up. We, Fred and George Weasley are the joint fifth greatest and most talented pranksters known to wizards, remember? The Marauders where the best.**_Of course, dear Brother, of course!_

**So, Vert, what are you doing with this book anyway? Nothing bad, I hope. Are you going to keep all your dirty little . . . Oh good, dinner!****  
**  
_About time as well!! _

~*~*~*~  
Verity laughed quietly at George's last comment and chose to ignore Fred's leaving comment about the time. She summoned a quill and started writing back to them deciding the 'Diary' would be more fun this way.

~*~*~*~  
_**FRED, GEORGE GET YOUR GRUBBY MITS OFF MY DIARY, get your minds out of the gutter and don't complaint about the time it takes to cook, it takes a long time to cook enough food to keep you two happy!  
Those two are my employers; they own the best Wizarding joke shop in Europe, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. The shop and my employers are also the reason I am writing this. As George has already stated they are joint fourth.**_

~*~*~*~  
For the second time that day, and, absolutely, no doubt NOT the last time, the diary vanished form under her nose, this time the quill she was holding was also taken. George made himself comfy on the sofa beside her, read through the page and quickly scribbled something down before handing the book back to Verity.

~*~*~*~  
**Fifth, Vert, not fourth. ****  
**

Verity growled threateningly and snatched the book up from her lap in annoyance. She untangled her legs and moved to the sofa opposite George snarling like a cat.  
Realizing she had left her quill on the other side of the room only added to her annoyance.

~*~*~*~  
_**…Most annoying people in the universe.**_

~*~*~*~  
Verity hardly had time to write down the comment before the book yet again whizzed out of her hands, this time summoned by Fred, over to the chair Verity had been sitting in earlier that evening.

"Hey!" Fred exclaimed before adding another note to the page. The book started shooting about the room as the three people kept interrupting each other, in a silent conversation.

~*~*~*~  
_That's not true. Is it? _

_**Yes, for a start you to keep snatching the diary away from me**_

**Yea, But  
**  
NO, buts George, Goats butt. Are you a goat? Do you want me to be nice to you?  
Talking to one's employers like this would be a sackable offence anywhere else but it's ok for me! I know that it will take you two ages to find an assistant as helpful, willing and patient as me.

**She has a point you know, we had about ten other people that wanted to help out in the shop, but they all gave up after a few days, saying something about how it was easier to baby-sit five year old kids!  
**  
_I still don't get it. How do myself, George and our shop have anything to do with you writing this thing?_

~*~*~*~  
Verity summoned the diary to her and read the latest addition to the page of writing. As she read the small smile on her face grew broader and became a loud evil sounding laugh. The twins glanced at each other apprehensively, unsure about what had caused Verity to act like that. Once Verity had calmed her laughing she explained.  
"The reason, Fred, that George, yourself and the shop have anything to do with my writing this 'thing', as you so quaintly put it, is that this Diary is, as of the next time I write in it, a record of your muck-up's, mistakes and embarrassing situations before, after and during your experiments with new products-to-be"  
Fred and George's faces had paled considerably during Verity's speech, this could not be happening, not to them!  
"What muck-ups, Verity?" George asked feigning innocence. Verity looked at him ridiculously.  
"Well, for example, that time when you …" Verity started, but Fred interrupted quickly.  
"Ok Vert, Do you want a pay rise? Or something?" He asked, hoping to distract the young woman from the current discussion. Verity grinned and replied.  
"Hmm, Yes please. Oh, but, that's not the reason I am writing the diary. I think your customers might find the finished book very entertaining!" George gasped  
"No, please, anything but that, we'll NEVER live it down, we'll be the laughing stock of the entire wizarding community, please, Verity." Fred took over with a similar stream of begging the second George stopped for breath.  
"I'm really sorry boys, but I just have to do this." Verity grinned.  
"Vert, you are so evil," The twins chimed in perfect unison "If it weren't for the fact we haven't the time or patience to find another assistant, you would be sacked!" Fred added grumpily, knowing there was no point in even trying to persuade Verity not to keep the damned book. Verity simply laughed, picked up the book and wished the men a good night.  
Verity sat on her bed and quickly wrote down the conversation she had just had, with her employers in her diary. Then added.

~*~*~*~  
_**Ohh I love those two! They are right, I am so EVIL! So there you have it the intro, the pages after this one hopefully contain dangerous, yet funny situations, mild peril on behalf of the twins, puffs of multi**__**-coloured**__** smoke and the occasional pink fluffy bunny!**_


End file.
